A Moment of Fear

I’ve been sitting here for the past  half hour trying to write a post for this blog since it’s been awhile since I’ve written.  The right words just don’t seem to be coming.  There isn’t a whole lot to report about the adoption at this time except for the fact that the last of our documents has been placed in the hands of the facilitation team in Eastern Europe.  That is a praise!  Now we wait to hear that our dossier has been submitted to the proper authorities, so we can wait to hear about a travel date.  I do hope we get a little more notice than one of our fellow Reece’s Rainbow families.  Their dossier was submitted October 24 and they expected to travel sometime in January.  Instead they heard on November 25 that they were to leave November 26 for a November 28 appointment in country!  Whew!  They made it over there, but like I said, I hope I have a little more notice.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the changes that are bound to come by adding new children to our family.  It’s really hard to know what to expect.  It seems the key is to remain flexible and expect the unexpected.  I do know that God is in control of everything.  He knows what the girls need.  He knows what we need.  He will bring about what is right for all of us.

Early this morning I had an interesting and moving encounter with God.   I awoke at 3:30 a.m. and was startled to realize that Jim, Isaac, and Simeon had already left for market.  I guess I had forgotten that they were leaving an hour early this morning.  I was confused when I saw the bathroom unoccupied and the lights off downstairs, since they usually get up at 3:30 a.m.  I even checked the boys’ beds to make sure they were really gone.  While I was up, all of a sudden I was gripped with a moment of fear concerning the adoption.  I thought to myself, “What are we doing?  This adoption could change our whole family.”  Immediately these words came to my mind:  “There is no fear in love, for perfect love casts out fear.”  In my mind I replied, “But I don’t have perfect love!”  “My grace is sufficient for thee, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.”   I know it was God speaking to me.  There was no doubt in my mind.  The fear left, but I started quivering inside and knew that I had to write down what had happened before returning to bed.

Thank you, Father, that you know and understand my thoughts from afar, that you are intimately acquainted with all my ways.  “How precious also are Thy thoughts to me, O God!  How vast is the sum of them!  If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand.  When I awake, I am still with thee.”  (Ps. 139: 17, 18.)

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